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Today's Show Wednesday April 1, 2015

Wednesday April 1, 2015

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Transcript I'm Peyton Priestly. You're tuned in to Naked News! We've got a lot to cover today! Kat's going to tell us ... Read More >> Hide >>

I'm Peyton Priestly. You're tuned in to Naked News! We've got a lot to cover today! Kat's going to tell us what's TRENDING NOW, on the web and social media, and Scarlette is back with the latest video game news in the Game Spot.

We'll also have an announcement in the wrap up that I wish wasn't happening. Make sure to stay tuned because, sadly, it's important. All right, let's get things started. Angie Heyward,in standing by in the Naked Newsroom. So Angie, I hear you've got a new report for us on the world's worst cities for traffic!

The rush hour commute in almost ANY city is a drag Peyton but no matter how bad you THINK your daily drive is, just remember that it could be a whole lot worse! Here's the story. GPS manufacturer TomTom has released its list of the world's most congested cities. Istanbul gets the dubious honor of having the world's WORST traffic. Turkey's largest city is a gateway between Europe and Asia, and has the heaviest traffic during peak hours on the planet. A 30-minute drive there will take you more than an hour during the evening rush! Mexico City and Rio de Janeiro rounded up the top three spots. And over in North America, Los Angeles keeps its crown as the least driver-friendly city - but ranks just 10th worldwide.

A thousand-year old Anglo-Saxon concoction once used to treat eye infections could hold the key to a cure for the MRSA superbug! Microbiologists went to work on a remedy translated from a 10th century medical textbook found at the British Library in London. The recipe uses basic ingredients like garlic, wine, and bile from a cow's stomach. Amazingly, when the medieval brew was tested on the antibiotic-resistant MRSA strain, it killed 999 out of 1,000 bacterial cells! The team was dumbfounded by the surprising results, saying the treatment is effective beyond their wildest dreams.

And in Siberia, oil workers drilling in the frozen tundra there have made an incredible discovery: the remains of a 10,000 year old woolly mammoth! The workers dug up two tusks, teeth, and rib bones of the giant mammal, which was buried about ten feet deep. Palaeontologists estimate the mammoth was a 30 to 40-year old female. It's quite a find! From the Naked Newsroom I'm Angie Heyward!

I'm Natasha Olenski in the locker room for your NAKED SPORTS report!

Tiger Woods was spotted sharpening his claws at Augusta National ahead of the Masters next week. The former world number one's private plane was glimpsed near the course where he won four green jackets. Woods shot the worst round of his professional career in 2015, and has dropped out of the top 100 for the first time in 19 years. Let's hope he can find his game. Augusta just isn't the same without Tiger on the prowl.

We promise this one isn't an April Fools joke – the NHL's Ottawa Senators want supporters to stop throwing burgers onto the ice! Sens fans have been tossing their McDonald's in honor of their goalie Andrew 'The Hamburglar' Hammond. Considering how much it costs for concessions at the Canadian Tire Centre, The Hamburglar must be a pretty tasty goalie!

Some fairly nasty things happen in hockey, but this slash is something special! Journeyman Andre Deveaux took clipping to the extreme in the pre-game warm up for Rogle's match against Vasteras in the Swedish second-tier. The former New York Ranger and Toronto Maple Leaf forward says he doesn't even regret the move. Two games later, he was fired for his actions, and now it's gone from bad to worse – Swedish police have ordered his arrest on 'suspicion' of assault.

It's exciting being down to the Final Four in March Madness, especially when you have one million bucks riding on it! Las Vegas casino owner Derek Stevens placed a $20,000 bet on the Michigan State Spartans at odds of 50-1! Despite being a University of Michigan graduate, Stevens put his faith in rival school Michigan State way back when they had lost three of their first eight games. Now he stands to win one million dollars if the seventh seeds can get past Duke and let's face it, probably Kentucky.

What Lionel Messi lacks in height, he more than makes up for in wealth. In 2014, the pocket-sized Argentinian maestro earned a whopping $71 million! Around half of that came from his salary at Barcelona with sponsorships from Adidas, EA Sports and Turkish Airlines adding a nice cherry on top.

And now it's time for the moments you simply can't miss this week.

Impressive shooting, but Gareth's on-court wardrobe needs a little work. He looks like a total dork! I'm Natasha Olenski. THAT'S NAKED SPORTS. See you in the showers!

Okay, we've had some news, some sports, and now it's time for a look at what's Trending Now, courtesy of Kat Curtis! What's blowing up the internet today, Kat?

Now that people have worked out who Trevor Noah is, they can't seem to stop talking about him.

Who?

Exactly! Some people with far, far too much time on their hands have been trawling the Twitter timeline of The Daily Show's new host in a desperate attempt to find something they can pretend to be offended at.

Have they succeeded?

Absolutely. As always, the 'I'm offended' brigade have found something to complain about! Here's what's going on. Jon Stewart's replacement has been branded anti-Semitic, sexist and most hilariously, a racist, over tweets he posted YEARS ago. Because nothing screams racist like a half-black South African who grew up during apartheid. Hey, you know how a comedian gets better at writing jokes on Twitter? By writing a lot of BAD jokes on Twitter! Lighten up people. In fact, the ONLY thing offensive about the jokes is that they're not funny!

March Madness has been a ratings bonanza for CBS and its affiliates, and it's also creating all kinds of buzz on YouTube! Specifically this clip of a guy bringing the Madness to Target while shopping with his girlfriend! If he was MY boyfriend I'd be embarrassed too. I mean, look at the number of wide-open baskets he misses!

Now, I wouldn't usually laugh at a beer being spilled, that's serious business. But along with those folks on Reddit, I am loving this photo that's been trending near the top of the site's front page. There's nothing worse than having a drink spilled all over you. Unless of course the culprit is, well, YOU! Bonus points for this guy who allegedly spent the rest of the night complaining that some terrible human being had ruined his night!

This next video has received over one million views in just three days! No wonder - everyone knows the best defense against a rampaging gorilla is to scream and throw bananas at it. Talk about getting caught with your pants down. Did you see the guy who dropped the 'beast' with one punch, Tekken-style?

After seeing our pic for Gone Wild Girl of the Week, I'm confident your favorite breakfast is no longer pancakes and bacon! This snap called 'Rise and Shine' is one of the most popular posts on the naughty Reddit page, and it's easy to see why. Forget Folgers coffee - THIS is the best part of waking up! I'm Kat Curtis and that's what's Trending Now.

US bridges are crumbling! New analysis by the American Road and Transportation Builders Association shows that 61,000 bridges in all have been deemed structurally deficient. The report comes weeks before funding for federal highway and transit systems is set to expire - unless congress takes action. The Highway Trust Fund - which taxes drivers at the pump to collect revenue for highway and bridge repair, has not been increased since 1993, leading to a major lack of funding.

26,000 Twitter accounts suspected to be linked with terrorist group ISIS have been published on-line. It was done by an activist - known only by the name XRSone. The database has details on each account including when it was created, how many followers it has, the language used, and whether it was suspended or deleted. In a blog post, XRSone says the purpose of the data dump is to show how easy it is to find dangerous propaganda on Twitter, adding the social media site should be more responsible for its content.

And Amazon has unveiled a futuristic new "Amazon Dash Button". It's a small electronic device about the size of a pack of gum, and each one features the logo of an often-used household product. Whenever you're running low on a product - like say your favorite coffee for example - you just push the button and Amazon automatically ships you a new batch! Users can customize their orders via the Amazon mobile app on their smartphones. Amazon Prime members are getting first dibs on the futuristic buttons, and they'll then be made available by invitation only. From the Naked Newsroom, I'm Angie Heyward!

Thanks for that Angie. Now let's bring in Eila Adams for some laughs in the Boob Tube! Eila, everyone's been raving about the roast of Justin Bieber that aired earlier this week!

It was one of the funniest hours of TV I've seen in YEARS Peyton! And my favourite highlight came from a totally unexpected source!

Welcome to the Boob Tube, and welcome peanuts! As I was just saying, the roast of Justin Bieber was everything we'd hoped it would be! But would you BELIEB me if I told you the line of the night came from Martha Stewart? It's true, watch this! Martha Stewart is kinda hilarious, who knew? And admit it peanuts - she's also kinda hot

New Late Late Show host James Corden is still trying to get American viewers to warm up to him. And here's something I bet you didn't know about him peanuts: he used to be an underwear model! Seriously! This week he revealed an "old ad" he once did with soccer star David Beckham. Oh lighten up and give James a little credit, that took serious balls! Balls I hope to NEVER see again.

Now to another awesome moment from the Price Is Right! 84-year old contestant Margaret made it up on stage to play the famous putting game, and it went about as well as you'd expect from an octogenarian granny. Okay okay, she's no Phil Mickelson. But the game is called "Hole in One or TWO". Here's what happened next! How awesome was that?! Tiger ought to give her a call for tips on that funky putting technique.

We'll finish up with the latest from Dancing With The Stars and our favorite contestant Charlotte McKinney. Charlotte's easily one of the sexiest contestants the show's ever seen, but that isn't scoring her many points with the judges. All together peanuts: OH SNAP! And I hate to break it to you, but Charlotte's been voted off! Sad but true! That'll do it for this week's Boob Tube, till we meet again, I'm Eila Adams!

I'm Scarlette, welcome to the GAME SPOT!

Activision has just released some startling new numbers on the Call of Duty series - namely that they've sold 175 million copies so far. That comes out to about one sold every TWO SECONDS! COD has generated 11 billion dollars in lifetime revenue, and its diehard fanbase has staged over 100 billion multiplayer matches and lobbed more than 300 billion grenades! We should have new details about the NEXT Call of Duty title in May.

Speaking of staggering sales, it's been a GREAT fiscal year for popular game retailer GameStop. The store's 2014 sales came in at 9.3 billion dollars. That's nearly 300 million higher than the year before! Needless to say, the results are impressive. Yep, the video game industry is turning a profit - who knew?

XBox One owners are going to have a pretty nifty new feature in April! Microsoft is planning a system update that will include a new voice messaging service! Anyone who's experienced the frustration of having to type out messages with a controller knows that this is a HUGE upgrade. Users will be able to record and send messages of up to 15 seconds to other next-gen console owners, and the connection also works from XBox One to XBox 360.

Want to see YOUR face in the upcoming Homefront game? Of course you do! And this is your chance, because the developer behind the game - Deep Silver Dambuster Studios - has issued an open call to anyone 18 or older for NPC roles. Submit your photo to DSdambuster.com/headscan, and if they like your photo they'll even pay you 75 bucks! The only catch is that you'll have to visit the company's studios in the UK to make it all happen. Homefront The Revolution is expected in mid 2016.

Now let's take a look at Bloodborne exclusively for Playstation 4. I'm gonna cut right to the chase here. This game is being hailed as the first truly great title on PS4, and will be a frontrunner for game of the year honours. Bloodborne is a stunning RPG experience that fans of Demon's Souls and Dark Souls won't want to miss. And like those games, it finds you in an immersive, gorgeous, and darkly TERRIFYING world that pits you against all sorts of ghoulish monsters.

Gamers looking for a challenge will love what they find here. Bloodborne is tough, but that's what makes getting through it so rewarding. If you've been on the fence about getting a PS4, this is the game that could - and should - get you to pull the trigger. Bloodborne gets the big 5 out of 5 Naked Ns! For the Game Spot, I'm Scarlette.

All right thank you Scarlette! Now as I mentioned at the top of the program, we have a rather important announcement to make. It's not something anyone of us here are very happy about and I'm sure that sentiment will be shared by our audience. One of our long time anchors has decided to move on from Naked News. Here she is to explain.

Hey everyone. Okay, I have some... big news. I was recently contacted by a TV news station in Sydney Australia. They wanted me to be an entertainment features reporter, and after thinking things over for a few days, I decided to take the job. I love it here so much, but the chance to go to a new country and try something new is too good to pass up. Sadly that means I’m going to have to leave Naked News. It's been such an amazing 5 years. I have so many great memories and have made lifelong friends. I’m actually getting a little emotional here! This is harder than I expected. I hate goodbyes. So I’ll leave it at that! I love every one you. I really do. Thanks for being the best fans ever! Take care!

HAAAA, GOTCHA, APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!! BYE!

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