Let's jump right into today's program by crowning our latest Boob Of The Week. And the DIS-honor has never been more deserving!
This week's BOOB is KNOP TV in North Platte, Nebraska. There have been several staff changes at the local TV station recently – but it's the LAST one that will make you FURIOUS! You see, a pair of KNOP TV employees – newscaster Tara Moore and production manager Dennis McConnell - decided to resign. So sportscaster Joe Swift offered his best wishes to his departing colleagues on LIVE TV!
That was a really HEARTWARMING message. And for taking the time to deliver that message, Joe Swift was FIRED! That's right, he was FIRED – after TWENTY years at the station. KNOP TV bosses apparently felt Swift gave the impression that Moore and McConnell were forced out of their job. And so they forced Swift out of HIS job!
I don't know WHAT broadcast those bigwigs were watching, but there wasn't an OUNCE of deception or bitterness in what Swift said. Maybe if his former bosses weren't so preoccupied with how THEY came off in a message that had NOTHING to do with them, they would have seen that!
Swift told a local North Platte newspaper that he was NEVER told he couldn't say goodbye to Moore and McConnell, and that they did that sort of thing on-air all the time. He feels like he “got fired for being a nice guy” - and I don't blame him. But what REALLY grinds my gears about this story is exactly HOW Swift was canned – over a Skype call... on his wife's birthday!
That is some cold-blooded stuff right there folks. So to recap, wishing farewell to friends on TV: not OK. Firing a 20 year employee over the Internet: totally OK. Unbelievable.
I've got a SPECIAL bulletin JUST for you, KNOP TV – YOU are our BOOB of the week! And if you'd like to take it upon yourself to let them know, please feel free to e-mail them at email@example.com.
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has called Wednesday's stunning attack on parliament in the country's capital an act of terrorism. Harper says Canada will never be intimidated, and will take all necessary steps to keep his country safe. The Ottawa gunman killed by police has been identified as Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, a Canadian born man who converted to Islam, with alleged ties to ISIS.
Zehaf-Bibeau shot and killed Corporal Nathan Cirillo, a 24-year old reservist guarding the National War Memorial. He then ran into the nearby parliament building, where he also opened fire. His motives remain unknown, and it's unclear whether any additional suspects are tied to the shooting.
And the White House had a scare of its own on Wednesday. Another man jumped over the White House fence but unlike last month's intruder, who roamed the halls of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue before getting caught, this one was instantly taken down by guard dogs! The White House was put on lockdown for about ninety minutes while Secret Service agents scoured the area for further threats. The fence jumper has been identified as 23-year old Dominic Adesanya of Maryland. Officials say he was unarmed.
And a massive academic fraud has been uncovered at the University of North Carolina. More than three thousand student athletes were given credit for FAKE classes over the last EIGHTEEN years! The report, lead by federal prosecutor Kenneth Wainstein, does not accuse any coaches or athletic administrators of any wrongdoing.
Instead it points the finger at two department heads within the African and Afro-American Studies department. Counselors advised the student athletes to take the classes, which had no attendance or faculty involvement. Four UNC employees have been fired and five more disciplined because of their roles.
It's been THIRTEEN years since Apple released the very first iPod. The portable audio player has REVOLUTIONIZED the way we listen to music. So in honor of that, I'm going to share with YOU, our loyal Naked News viewers, what's on MY iPod in THIS WEEK'S NAKED WEATHER FORECAST!
Before we hit play – let's cue up some Brainstorm Trivia.
There's an urban legend that the average sneeze generates a wind speed of 100 miles an hour! But is it true? Stay tuned for the answer.
Let's begin with a CLASSIC rock song – Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. I know, I know, pretty cheesy. But I have to admit, it really FIRES me up! Funny story: the lyrics from the 1981 karaoke staple mention being “born and raised in south Detroit”. But there IS no such place as “south Detroit”. In fact, the area south of Detroit is actually the Canadian city of Windsor, Ontario! It'll be raining this weekend in Windsor, with a high of 66 (19 C).
Next on my playlist is Bongo Bong by Manu Chao. It's a pretty catchy reggae track and I like listening to it when I'm just lounging around the house. Chao is of Spanish descent but was born in Paris. Cloudy skies are in the forecast for the City of Light this weekend, along with a high of 62 (17 C).
This next song is quite silly but I just can't help liking it! It's called Chacarron Macarron and it's by Panamanian artist El Chombo. The lyrics are COMPLETE gibberish and it's spawned a bunch of viral videos. But it really gets STUCK in your head! There's a chance of thunderstorms this weekend in Panama City, and a SCORCHING high of 88 degrees (31 C).
And I didn't even ASK to have this last album on my iPod – but U2 put it there anyway. Thanks, Bono – I guess. Songs of Innocence is decent, but is far from the Irish band's best work. Though I do enjoy the song Volcano – the guitar riff reminds me of U2's earlier stuff. Dublin will enjoy a sunny weekend with temperatures reaching 59 (15 C).
Now let's unlock the answer to our Brainstorm Trivia question.
It appears the super-fast sneeze is just a lot of HOT AIR. The hosts of the Discovery Channel show Mythbusters couldn't even break 40 miles per hour with their sneezes.
That's all for the Naked Weather Forecast. It's time to dance!
Fox Television is being sued for two hundred and fifty MILLION dollars! Actor Frank Sivero claims a minor character on The Simpsons, Louie, was based on HIS character Frankie Carbone from the movie Goodfellas. He also SAYS that Simpsons producer James L Brooks promised they'd make a film together, but instead simply studied him further for the character. Louie has appeared in sixteen of over five hundred and fifty Simpsons episodes to date.
Reality TV in the UK has hit a new low. Porn star Rebecca More is currently traveling across Britain for her upcoming reality competition, tentatively titled Sex Tour of England. It will feature Rebecca in her "fuckbus", traveling around having sex with a bunch of strangers. It's not clear exactly how the "competition" aspect of the show will work. It'll be broadcast on adult network Television X.
NBC has shelved Mission Control. The sitcom was set to star Krysten Ritter - who I LOVE - as a 60s-era NASA aerospace engineer. It also would have reunited Jonathan Slavin and Malcolm Barrett, best known as Phil and Lem on cancelled cult favorite show Better Off Ted. It's believed that NBC decided it had enough new comedies.
Saturday Night Live now has TWO black female cast members! Leslie Jones actually auditioned during the talent search that ended up selecting Sasheer Zamata, but she impressed Lorne Michaels enough that they added her to the writing staff. Her appearance on the show's Weekend Update last season got a TON of notice, and she followed that up in this season's premiere. Her first appearance as a featured player will be on this weekend's show with Jim Carrey.
And a preview of the upcoming animated series Mike Tyson Mysteries has been released. Iron Mike tweeted the video and it's every bit as...ODD as you'd expect. It's a demented Scooby-Doo for adults. Adults with a twisted sense of humor, that is. The premiere has Mike Tyson, Cormac McCarthy, and an alcoholic talking pigeon, for goodness' sake! The show debuts October 27 on the Cartoon Network.
The maker of Camel cigarettes is cracking down on smoking in the workplace. More specifically, its OWN workplace. Reynolds American announced that cigarettes, cigars and pipes will soon be banned in its offices. That includes employee desks, conference rooms, hallways, and elevators. Designated indoor smoking areas will be built, and then the no-smoking policy will take effect.
China will launch its first ever lunar-orbiting spacecraft this weekend. The mission objective is to have the unmanned craft fly around the moon once and then return to Earth. That process is expected to take about a week. China is testing technology it plans to use in a more ambitious launch scheduled for 2017. It's the next step forward in a lunar program that has made significant advances in the past decade.
And speaking of space - NASA has uploaded historical audio to its FREE online sound library. Famous communications from NASA missions including "Houston, we've had a problem", "One small step for man" and "The Eagle has landed" can be heard. There's also abstract noises created by spacecraft and debris. You can even make the sounds into RINGTONES. In space, no one can hear you scream. But now on Earth, you can hear what REALLY went on up there!
2014 will likely go down in the history books as the first year WITHOUT a single platinum-certified record! A platinum record in the US is one that sells a million units. The Recording Industry Association of America has been keeping track of sales since 1976. The two top-selling albums this year have been Beyonce's self-title record and Lorde's "Pure Heroine", but neither has even cracked the 800,000 mark. The rise of online streaming services are being blamed for the drop. The soundtrack to the movie "Frozen" has sold a stunning 3 million copies this year, but doesn't really count since it features a variety of different artists.
It's a VERY good time to be a Smashing Pumpkins fan! The band has TWO albums due out in the next year. And wouldn't you know it, Billy Corgan has just released a new single featuring Tommy Lee on the drums! It's called "Being Beige". Not too shabby! Watch for the first of the two new albums, called "Monuments to an Elegy", on December 9th!
Pearl Jam is one of the best live acts in the biz, and that's partly because you just never know what you're going to get from Eddie Vedder and the boys! Case in point: the band played a show in Moline Illinois last week, and Eddie decided to perform a song he'd written TEN MINUTES before the show. It's called "Moline", and the crowd ate it up!
It's been EIGHT YEARS since Gwen Stefani released any new solo music. But the Hollaback Girl is back with a vengeance in this new synth-pop single called "Baby Don't Lie".
You gotta hand it to her: Gwen is often imitated but never duplicated! Expect this one to dominate radio playlists.
Now it's time for our album review! "Kings and Queens" from Billy Idol, is the music bad boy's first record in ten years! Full disclosure: I wanted to like this album, I really did! Billy's one of the coolest dudes in rock, but it's pretty clear he's out of new ideas. Most of the songs on this record sound like they were recorded thirty years ago! Here's a look at the album's lead single, "Can't Break Me Down". That one's pretty catchy, but the rest of this album is WEAK! I'm not going to sugarcoat it: there's a time for this kind of music, and that time is 1982. C'mon Billy, you can do better! Kings and Queens of the Underground gets a paltry 2 out of 5 Naked Ns.
Peyton Priestly wraps up the show and lets us know that this weekend we'll get to see video from the Mr. Skin 15th Anniversary Party, a new amateur guest anchor named Joanna, and that we've also got some special Halloween festivities coming up next week.
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