World Peace - 2009-11-09

World peace. Everyone from Miss America contestants to you and I consider it one of humanity’s greatest goals. We’re all tired of seeing mourning parents and crying widows suffering for their loved ones’ sacrifices. Sacrifices too often made for the benefit of governments or giant corporations. So, how do we bring about world peace? Here are my thoughts:

First, voluntary members of the armed forces – the brave young men and women who want to support their countries – should be returned to home soil, and used exclusively for homeland defense. All foreign military service should be conducted by troops which have been built via mandatory conscription – the draft.

This draft should be specifically targeted to men aged 45 to 70, with exemptions available only in very dire situations. Why? First off, it’s almost always these old guys – sorry to our mature viewers – who make the decisions to start the wars and put our young men and women in harm’s way. So, instead of giving them carte blanche to sacrifice our brave volunteer military members, let’s have these politicians and captains of industry put their money where their mouths are.

Secondly, by the time these guys roll out of their bunks, attempt their morning bowl movement, check their stock quotes, read the paper, and finish their Grande Latte and fresh croissants, they’re not going to have a lot of time to do much actual fighting. And we should put the big white-collar criminals like Bernie Madoff right on the front lines. I think he’d be great at inspecting and defusing IEDs – don’t you? Oh that that Dick Cheney guy who has been itching for action - can’t you just picture Dick Cheney handling the turret gun in a combat convoy? Hm. You know these comments have been tongue-in-cheek… of course. These captains of industry will most likely never set foot in a war zone other than to shake some hands for a photo op. These “old guys” are great at ordering other people – the “little people” - to the front lines. But we all know they’d probably sing a different tune about the merits of war… if they had to come face to face with the human realities.