Greetings, everyone, and welcome to Naked News! If you were getting tired of Volkswagen's emissions scandal, GOOD NEWS, there's a whole NEW automaker in the hot seat! Eila's in the newsroom to tell us more.
Carli, the numbers are much smaller and the details are just trickling in, but it's looking like Fiat Chrysler pulled the SAME scam as Volkswagen!
Well, it's not like emissions ever hurt anyone...unless you count THE PLANET!
I actually do count the planet... and apparently, so does the U.S. government! Here's what's going on. The Department of Justice is SUING Fiat Chrysler over emissions control software it says helped SELECT vehicles pass emissions tests! The suit was brought on behalf of the Environmental Protection Agency, and could be a PR nightmare for the car manufacturer! One thing Fiat Chrysler has going for them compared to Volkswagen is the much smaller number of cars affected: a suspected hundred thousand in the U.S. versus 11 MILLION globally!
In other news, the FCC has cleared late night host Stephen Colbert for a NASTY zinger about President Trump! To refresh your memory, here's a snippet of the monologue directed at Trump that got Colbert in hot water! Not surprisingly, the FCC received thousands of complaints about the monologue. They say they reviewed the material and concluded there was nothing to punish him for.
On behalf of blonde ladies everywhere, I'm sorry to report the Juice could soon be loose! O.J. Simpson is up for parole in July, and if it's granted, he could be back on the streets as soon as October! Anyone who watched the Oscar-winning documentary O.J.: Made in America likely has mixed feelings, since he certainly should have been convicted of the murders but was kind of railroaded on these later charges. All I can say is if he gets out, I'm glad he'll be 70 and a lot slower! Don't go away!
I'll admit that when I'm making a mental list of one-named pop stars, like Beyonce, Rihanna and Madonna, I sometimes forget about Cher. Well, shame on me, because she turned in a performance at the Billboard Music Awards that people are STILL talking about!
Hard to know what people were more excited about online: a live performance of the song that's been getting stuck in our heads for about twenty years... or a 71-YEAR-OLD rocking pasties like a champ! Not only does Cher sing “If I Could Turn Back Time,” she actually does it!
Washington is in rough shape, so it's nice to see senators can still reach across the aisle...to pass a MASSIVE joint! Okay, that's not what happened, but a picture where it LOOKS like that's what's happening has gone viral in a BIG way! Republican Senator Ben Sasse of Nebraska took a hit with a Twitter pic captioned “holy moly – it looks like @SenSchumer and I are smoking reefer outside a wedding...” To which Chuck Schumer cleverly replied “Well that escalated quickly.” The two tweets have over 10 thousand retweets and 40 thousand likes between them, so maybe people have the munchies for bipartisanship!
We're going to give the NBA's Twitter account the benefit of the doubt and assume a tweet from Sunday's Celtics-Cavs game was a joke. But despite it being pretty funny AND about two comedians, people weren't laughing! It was a GIF of Amy Schumer and Dave Chappelle courtside, but it referred to them as “Amy and a fan.” The Twitterverse showed its inability to recognize jokes with literally THOUSANDS of replies, including much angry back-and-forth about which of them is funnier! Sadly, it's not even Amy's most embarrassing basketball moment!
The internet can be a cruel mistress, which is why it can get so excited about an awesomely cruel wife! We don't want to be happy that First Lady Melania Trump is miserable, but every time she lets her contempt for Donald show, we just can't get enough! So sit back, and enjoy this beautifully rejected attempt at a hand-hold! That original tweet from Israeli news organization Haaretz, with the caption “Well this is embarrassing” has around 50 THOUSAND retweets and 80 THOUSAND likes!
Now it's time for Hashtag Follow Me pick of the week! Chloe Khan's path to fame has had a lot of twists and turns, but we're glad she's arrived! After being booted off the British version of The X Factor, Chloe decided to make some changes. Including her surname, her cup size and her income bracket! She turned herself into a millionaire with a webcam business and appearances in Playboy, and returned to the TV limelight with Celebrity Big Brother! But enough of the backstory, because Instagram's got her FRONT story, and it's way more popular. Her sexy pics have earned her a MILLION followers, and that's the Math of Khan! I'm Katherine Curtis, and that's what's Trending Now!
Okay, next up, we all know sex is GOOD, but it can also be good FOR you, that's according to science! Here's Shannon with Pillow Talk.
Did you know that having sex at least once a week boosts your antibodies? Those antibodies then boost your immune system, and help protect you from getting sick! So get OFF more, and get COUGHS less!
Sex is also excellent for your heart. A good, vigorous session is basically aerobic exercise, AND it's proven to help prevent high blood pressure. That's great for lowering the risk of heart attacks and strokes.
It can also help with headaches. Gettin' busy triggers your body to release endorphins, those happy, feel-good hormones, that can help relieve pain and other aches.
And when it comes to orgasms, even solo times are beneficial. Men who orgasm at least 20 times a month - no matter how - are significantly less likely to develop prostate cancer. So never feel guilty - masturbating could save your life!
The health benefits of sex go on and on including, helping with sleep disorders, lowering stress, improved memory and self-esteem.
So take Dr. Shannon's advice: Have plenty of sex, and call me in the morning! And remember, play safe!
There's an old Russian saying: “Don't be happy with a multi-million dollar divorce settlement when you can have a multi-BILLION dollar divorce settlement!” Okay, that may not be a saying, but if Natalia Potanina has her way, it will be! At the time of her 2014 divorce from Russian billionaire Vladimir Potanin, she received 380 million rubles; now, she's filed a lawsuit demanding a potentially record-setting final settlement of 849-point-5 BILLION rubles, the equivalent of 15 BILLION DOLLARS! That's a lot of borscht!
No one really thinks social media is great for young people, but if you're wondering which platform is worst, a new study's looking at you, Instagram! Researchers from the UK have written a report called #StatusOfMind, and in it, they have young people rank five social media platforms by their positive and negative effects on mental health. Instagram and Snapchat fared the worst, then Facebook and Twitter, with YouTube the only site with a net positive result! That said, please follow Naked News on ALL the platforms!
I should be mad at Kilian Jornet for stealing my ULTIMATE Flex Appeal idea... but I guess I'll let him have his moment! The 29-year-old from Spain set what's believed to be a new record for the fastest ascent of Mount Everest, going from base camp to the summit in just 26 hours! And that's without oxygen tanks OR fixed ropes! Jornet has previously set speed records on Kilimanjaro and the Matterhorn and is a champion ultrarunner... but let's see him do all that naked! On second thought, let's not. From the Naked Newsroom, I'm Eila Adams.
The only problem with setting that record is, what do you NEXT?! Eila will be back to chat with me in the wrapup, but up next, it's time for our weekly feature, From The Vault! This week's selection is thanks to an email from a UK fan named Andrew.
His request is short and sweet: "Would it be possible to show a classic disrobe from Victoria Sinclair?" Excellent request, Andrew! The stocking disrobe was Vic's trademark, and so far nobody's done it better. See for yourself!
In Entertainment news, Jennifer Lawrence showed off her dance moves in Silver Linings Playbook, but we like her recent performance a LOT more! Video's surfaced online of J-Law working the pole at a strip club in Austria! Jenn took her top off, grinded with some lucky dude, and gave herself a spanking! And okay MAYBE she was a BIT drunk, but don't expect her to say sorry! Lawrence posted a statement on Facebook saying she ISN'T going to apologize for having fun!
She won four golds in the pool at the Olympics and now retired swimmer Inge de Bruijn is ready for some skinny dipping! She's starring in the new season of Dutch reality show "Adam Seeks Eve", where contestants date naked! On top of finding a partner, Ms. De Bruijn is hoping the show will lead to new opportunities as a TV presenter. I don't know if she can speak English and I don't care - Inge belongs on Naked News!
Here's a celebrity hook up NO ONE saw coming: Scarlett Johansson and Saturday Night Live's Colin Jost! Most people have responded to the news by saying "Umm, him?!" But it's true! Scarlett made a brief appearance in the SNL season finale, and at the after-party she and Colin were spotted making out! Leslie Jones is NOT going to be happy!
I'm guessing most women would happily lose their jobs for a night with Orlando Bloom - and the woman who DID says it was totally worth it! Smoking hot waitress Viviana Ross was fired from her job at the swanky Chiltern Firehouse in London after being found naked in Bloom's bed! She admits they had a night of "incredible sex" and doesn't regret a thing! Sounds like Orlando is more than just a great tipper!
And Halle Berry's looking as juicy as ever in this saucy snap shared recently on Instagram! Halle's BAREly there bikini shows that even at age 50, she's got it going on! With well over 100-thousand likes, it's safe to say the Internet agrees! I'm Alana, and that's a wrap on Entertainment! Now here's Carli & Eila close out the show.
Okay, welcome to the wrapup, everyone! Eila I wanted to get your take on the Stephen Colbert story. We told everyone how the FCC isn't going to punish him for his pretty racy joke about Donald Trump. Do you think that's the right decision?
Next, you also reported that the Juice could be loose again later this year! OJ Simpson is up for parole, and he could well be released. What do you think about that?
And finally, you had a report saying that Instagram is the social media site that's worst for young people's mental health. How does that sound to you?
Now we'd like to hear YOUR thoughts on these topics! We've got a post up on Facebook right now where you can share your opinions.
Thanks for tuning in, we'll see you back here again tomorrow for more Naked News!
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