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Morons Monday October 15, 2012


I LOVE living in this city. It's beautiful, relatively clean, sophisticated and safe. I HATE driving in this city, because it is full of morons.

First are the morons that run this city and control the traffic lights. They haven't figured out that if you make all the lights synchronized running North/South, traffic will move a lot faster from downtown to uptown and back. Instead you get to one red light, wait for it to turn green, and then you get to the next light and it just turned red. And so on. Traffic doesn't move because of the volume of cars. It doesn't move because of the morons controlling the computers that control the traffic signals.

And these are the same morons who want me to take public transportation but are too dumb, I guess, to realize that the buses they want me to take, move even slower than the cars, because these buses not ONLY stop to pick up passengers every block, they ALSO stop at these very same red lights that the morons control and that impede my driving progress.

I am thinking of walking - because maybe the traffic lights are synchronized. Not for cars of course, but for pedestrians. Nah, even that is probably giving these morons too much credit.

Not only is this city run by morons, it is full of drivers that are morons. If you were taught how to drive by your brother-in-law, you are probably a terrible driver who really doesn't understand the rules of the road. That's likely because your brother-in-law who taught you was probably taught to drive by his uncle who didn't know the rules of the road either. An uncle who learned to drive a tractor on his father's farm, or a moped somewhere outside of North America.

The other day, and I am really not making this up, the person in front of me stopped - at a green light, to type a text message. And when she was honked at she didn't move, stop texting - or even care. If that isn't a moron, I don't know what you would call her. Who do you think taught this woman the rules of the road? It certainly wasn't an accredited driving school instructor.

So the way I figure it I have 3 choices. Move to the countryside; learn to live with it OR run for mayor on a platform of synchronizing my city's traffic lights. I think I could get elected on this issue alone. "Eila Adams For Mayor". Sounds pretty good. Of course I can't tell the people I want to vote for me, that I think most of them are morons. Can I? But then it was these morons who elected the current morons who run my city, and the traffic lights. Sort of a circular argument isn't it?

If your city have figured out how to move traffic more efficiently or you personally have any ideas on how I can get traffic moving in my city, please let me know.