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When Animals Attack Monday October 22, 2012


I grew up in a farming community, and when I moved to the big city, I kind of figured I'd left the whole "woodland critters" thing behind. So I'm a little bummed out that I have all this extra wildlife thinking its perfectly fine to share my space.

I have squirrels in my attic, and raccoons ripping up my roof shingles and opening my garbage bins. Oh, and crapping pretty much everywhere. Sometimes, I just want to poison them!! This is my home. I pay for the roof, I have to clean up the mess and I have to keep fixing things they've destroyed. It's really frustrating.

Of course, I'm a big time animal lover and I couldn't actually poison them. Which is just as well, since where I live, you're not ALLOWED to. So the only other option I know, is to hire someone to trap and move them. But apparently they only move them one mile. ONE MILE?!! If raccoons are smart enough to unlock my "raccoon-proof" garbage bin, I think they're smart enough to find their way back into my home.

Having a wildlife removal service take them ONE MILE away is basically just paying to send them on a short vacation.

I have the right to decide who I share my home with. And I don't want to share mine with flea-infested, rabies-carrying, garbage-eating pests who don't pay rent.

I also don't want to live with ants, wasps, or mice, and I'm allowed to exterminate them. So why are squirrels and raccoons any different? Aren't pests by any other name, still pests? Anyone who's ever had to clean up an attic that's been invaded by raccoons knows they do a heck of a lot more damage than wasps.

Don't get me wrong. I understand that we've encroached on animals' environments, and there's obviously going to be some interaction. If I see squirrels in the park, I toss them nuts, and if there are raccoons snoozing in a tree..I leave them alone. But if they want to rip up my shingles, gnaw through the roof, crap in my attic, and chew my electrical wiring, I want be able to go FULL RAMBO on their fuzzy little asses.